Mission 1. the bears unite!

CAVE MAN BEAR CHIEFTAIN RALLIES TEACHERS IN DOWNTOWN MODESTO

as i closed the dirty graphitti'd phone booth door on this busy street i fumbled through my trenchcoat pocket for some loose change, lighter, bubblegum, ahh three quarters. it ought to be enough. as my glowing red eyes light up the booth, i notice the typical missing phone book and trash in the change recepticle. no one seems to notice me as they pass, and i place my coins in the slot and dial. a car pulls up next to me on the rainy street as the earpiece rings.

"hello?" the voice on the other end calls out. "who's this?". "never mind who this is", i say "i have an important mission for you and your husband. it's life or death". after a short pause, the voice on the other end says that she's calling the police and that she can see me in the phone booth outside then hangs up. looking around and confused, my bear-power of intelligence is telling me that i may have called the wrong number so i check it. sure enough, what i thought was a four turns out to be a smeared nine. fearful that i may have to hurt humans, i leave for another phone booth. i slip away into the night.

this time i get it right, and its the voice of a friend of a friend's second cousin's merchant marine friend's professors wife. she accepts my important mission. one that will have future consequences. i ask her about education in her town (linden). she doesnt have much to say because she has an eight year old and a 6 year old. she recognized the lack of funding for things like field trips and the fact that the class has to meet rigorous testing deadlines. she noticed this primarily out of comparison with her own school experiences as a child. she did say thay school lunches are better now because of a salad bar and healthy choices. I'd prefer a meat-bar with meat-salad. She also said that the large number of kids per room have been making the personalized instruction impossible so she actually has to spend time with the children on their homework. I mean who would have thought that parents actually have to educate the kids. apparently this lady needs some superpowers. my daylight personality is a liberal studies major, i didnt appreciate this.

because of my daytime presonality as a libs major, i know all about these issues. as a bear-hero and chieftain i set policy and uphold the law. i have some insight on how these problems can be fixed and they start at home. PARENTS! take matters into your own hands and educate your own kids. I mean give the teachers a hand they have to meet deadlines and standardized testing. throw them a bone once in a while. volunteer in their classrooms. educate yourselves instead of maintaining the status quo. our community needs to get healthier and self centeredness is not helping. having kids is a major responsibility so stop sending them to school so you can have a life. take part, get engaged. school used to be conducted in one room coal fired school houses, we dont need funds or money to teach our kids, we need dedication and maturity. as a bear, maturity comes early and it is celebrated with the great bearp-tism ceremony.

as for higher education. we bears realize that ilife is survival of the fittest, and to say that it doesnt apply anmore to humans is naieve and stupid. we bears think that higher education should be hard to achieve to weed out the impossibly undedicated people. schools should also be non-profit and salaries should be regulated. humans have the power of intelligence too, but it is tempered with laziness and entitlements.

my bear powers of strength and intelligence would set about fixing this with more community involvement in education, then at the government level i would institute a tax break for families with children on the honor roll. this should appeal to anyone that likes money. in order to help families get the tax incentive, i would then set up volunteer community-tutoring centers staffed with csus libs students as part of the degree program. with extra money in their pockets familes could afford more while their kids become smarter, thus breaking the cycle.

this is how us bears think.....humans have a long way to go.....

conservative cave man has his ear to the ground, and hears all!

disguised as a regular bear i make my rounds among the unsuspecting people quietly listening to their conversations as i sift through the days trash pretending that i need a meal. what they dont know is that my belly is warm and full courtesy of the man stealing purses from old ladies. one thing i cant stand even among humans is crime. they may burn the forests with their wicked fire, but i have hope for humanity yet.

the sidewalk was busy and the smell of greasy tacos wafted through the air via the rusty vent on the side of the dirty roach coach parked nearby. there was a line nearby, people seemed to be shifting. restless. as if they were waiting for something. that something they were waiting for was hope. hope for a better future. hope for permanent jobs and sustainability. lucky my stomache was full or this could get nasty.

today the people were waiting for a little somthing tho get them by. tomorrow they would be back in their sunglasses and expensive basketball shoes. they had been on the dole so long they knew little else. this morning in the window of flanigans TV shop, the news man announced a new government stimulus package on top of the first three that failed. when would this government realize that bailouts, stimulus, and handouts are just borrowed money anyway. The money comes from the taxpayer, financing the future for votes today. its just a sad sad political circle. vote prostitution.

lucky for these poor souls cave man has men on the inside. men who know what picante sauce is supposed to taste like. it doesnt taste like stuff from new york city. NEW YORK CITY?!!! get a rope..... now these men are paid by bear-kind to create whispers of change and hope within man-kind for a better future for us all. these men know what the city needs. these learned men know how to end the depressing doldrums of doom. let me spell it out for you.

first, man kind needs to redirect funding to research schools like UCLA and RUTGERS. these schools produce thinkers and creators of new ideas and processes. often times they create new technologies that become widespread and profitable. these new ideas and techs create new industry which spreads across the nation. these new industries provide new jobs and new exports to bolster the economy. they will sell briskly in emerging markets like china and india. this brings revenue to the  localities and this revenue is spent in local businesses. this all results in jobs jobs jobs.

i am going to go out on a limb here and say that the industry that we need to create is a productive one. how about agriculture? is there a reason there should be all these people standing in line when there are tomatoes needing picking? we have a back-door industry that has existed all along and no-one seems to have noticed it. maybe because so many people think that stooping over is for migrants? well we are all migrants, especially me, cave man bear.  this is a short term job that will give rise to long term jobs in the service industries. think summer jobs for college kids.

of course this is not all so easily done. this is survival of the fittest, just like bear-kind. if someone is unfit to compete for resources, well use your imagination...this is what this is all about right? i mean im some bear acting like a wild bear, minding my own business on the mean streets of modesto and nothing is out of place? thats how wild this whole thing is. there is a man eating bear in line next to you at the bank and you dont even notice?

mission accomplished.

my regular life

so apparently, i have to have this alter ego regular personality. it is simply this: I am a bear. you may see me occasionally here or there but mostly i remain out of site. I do like to pretend that i need food at national parks, but this is a ruse in order to run interference for bear-doings somewhere where maximum stealth is a requirement, like stealing or sabotaging something.

what i like best about my alternate personality is the ability to meander up to some tourist who smokes and drops his butts on the ground. i rear up on my hindlegs and speak to him about the dangers of forestfires. this cannot happen too frequently or people would actually believe the stories people tell about a smart bear up in the mountains.'

this is how i spend my time when i am not using my super powers of fishing and running fast or thinking hard.

past present and future

hello everyone i  am peter barosso. i do not use caps. it is a waste of time so sue me. i was born in 1975 in sacramento ca. and grew up thinking president reagan was the shiz-nick. i have come to all my own opinions about things on my own with a minimal of outside influence. i have never been a follower, never will. my main talent was art, still is. i was tuck in an industry i liked but saw no future in, so i returned to school.

today after many years i am a student and about to grad. i work full time, have two kids and go to school full time. how do i  do it? one word: crack. just kidding. i actually have 30 hour days unlike mere mortals' 24 hour days. because i am that awesome.

i am going to be a teacher, because the pay is so high of course. actually, i am doing it in order to help make the world better. seriously. i am not some young 20 something idealistic noob, it can be done. i would like to offer my children the most loving and supportive home that is possible with discipline and hard work. i will die sometime in the future, make no mistake we all are.

my origins

I began life as your average baby bear. You know, full of life, curiosity, and fresh salmon. My mother was named GrrrHmmmfsk-fsk-fsk, which in bear-ish is gnarly-deer-hunter-tree-scratcher. She was kind and gentle to all that she didnt have to eat or poop on. My father could not be named for he was considered to be of such legendary quality that it was forbidden. This was common practice in bear-ianity, which everybody knows is the religion of all bears. How my father obtained his heroic status is well known to bear-kind and lesser animals like porcupines (just dont tell them that they are lesser, you will never hear the end of it and will quite possibly get a quill or two).
 ........My father was a great Hunter of Man and his fire. Men invaded bear lands and brought fire and dogs. They waged a savage war with the bears that raged for hundreds of years until one day a mighty hero arose to train the bear warriors in the way of the Ninja. For all their cuddly looks and cute faces you would never know that there killers undernieth. My father commanded the bear legions during the decisive battle of constipatia where the men were taken at unawares and utterly destroyed. He then reorganized the bear community into a bear-topia.
........my father did not die like all else that lives, but was lifted into the heavens by the all powerful God to serve as arc-bearangel. In doing so, God created the constellation of the Hunter which can still be seen to this very day.
........As you can imagine, this role model was part-in-parcel to my becoming a great bear chieftain. I inherited all that was His and set about immediately putting out fires. Fires men created as a way of expressing the anger they harbored against bear-kind for the bitter loss of the war. I created written language inorder to communicate the importance of not starting fires. when our bear engineers created complex machines, i created the television in order to express to a wide audience the impact even one bear can have in fire control.

.......now, bears say that I do these feats with superpowers and the answer is Yes I DO. My main superpower is the power of using my brain. I can think, problem solve, and excuse myself from the table. I can run very quickly, to the tune of 35mph. I am very strong, lifting rocks and throwing fish out of rivers poses no trouble for me. I do all these things to keep the forest thick and lush in order to keep bear-civilization secret from the men who would destroy us.