Mission 1. the bears unite!

CAVE MAN BEAR CHIEFTAIN RALLIES TEACHERS IN DOWNTOWN MODESTO

as i closed the dirty graphitti'd phone booth door on this busy street i fumbled through my trenchcoat pocket for some loose change, lighter, bubblegum, ahh three quarters. it ought to be enough. as my glowing red eyes light up the booth, i notice the typical missing phone book and trash in the change recepticle. no one seems to notice me as they pass, and i place my coins in the slot and dial. a car pulls up next to me on the rainy street as the earpiece rings.

"hello?" the voice on the other end calls out. "who's this?". "never mind who this is", i say "i have an important mission for you and your husband. it's life or death". after a short pause, the voice on the other end says that she's calling the police and that she can see me in the phone booth outside then hangs up. looking around and confused, my bear-power of intelligence is telling me that i may have called the wrong number so i check it. sure enough, what i thought was a four turns out to be a smeared nine. fearful that i may have to hurt humans, i leave for another phone booth. i slip away into the night.

this time i get it right, and its the voice of a friend of a friend's second cousin's merchant marine friend's professors wife. she accepts my important mission. one that will have future consequences. i ask her about education in her town (linden). she doesnt have much to say because she has an eight year old and a 6 year old. she recognized the lack of funding for things like field trips and the fact that the class has to meet rigorous testing deadlines. she noticed this primarily out of comparison with her own school experiences as a child. she did say thay school lunches are better now because of a salad bar and healthy choices. I'd prefer a meat-bar with meat-salad. She also said that the large number of kids per room have been making the personalized instruction impossible so she actually has to spend time with the children on their homework. I mean who would have thought that parents actually have to educate the kids. apparently this lady needs some superpowers. my daylight personality is a liberal studies major, i didnt appreciate this.

because of my daytime presonality as a libs major, i know all about these issues. as a bear-hero and chieftain i set policy and uphold the law. i have some insight on how these problems can be fixed and they start at home. PARENTS! take matters into your own hands and educate your own kids. I mean give the teachers a hand they have to meet deadlines and standardized testing. throw them a bone once in a while. volunteer in their classrooms. educate yourselves instead of maintaining the status quo. our community needs to get healthier and self centeredness is not helping. having kids is a major responsibility so stop sending them to school so you can have a life. take part, get engaged. school used to be conducted in one room coal fired school houses, we dont need funds or money to teach our kids, we need dedication and maturity. as a bear, maturity comes early and it is celebrated with the great bearp-tism ceremony.

as for higher education. we bears realize that ilife is survival of the fittest, and to say that it doesnt apply anmore to humans is naieve and stupid. we bears think that higher education should be hard to achieve to weed out the impossibly undedicated people. schools should also be non-profit and salaries should be regulated. humans have the power of intelligence too, but it is tempered with laziness and entitlements.

my bear powers of strength and intelligence would set about fixing this with more community involvement in education, then at the government level i would institute a tax break for families with children on the honor roll. this should appeal to anyone that likes money. in order to help families get the tax incentive, i would then set up volunteer community-tutoring centers staffed with csus libs students as part of the degree program. with extra money in their pockets familes could afford more while their kids become smarter, thus breaking the cycle.

this is how us bears think.....humans have a long way to go.....