HeAlTh NiNjAs

Cave bear learns:

Today, cave man bear has decided that being fat and out of shape is costing our health care system money.  A long time ago I thought that fat humans were getting ready for winter as us bears do…you know, hibernation.  Then after being among humans for a long time I realized humans do not hibernate, and that all that fat was a result of bad habits and addictions.  Eating can be an addiction too. We bears know, we are addicted to eating too. That was why years before I was born, my father instituted the bear ninja training program to shape us up. It worked and I think that that may be what saves the humans too.

Cave bear has learned that there are already programs out there to educate and prompt people to get in shape. One big reason people eat too much is stress, anxiety, and depression. A lot of people cant handle things in life and so as a way of coping, they eat. A full stomach relaxes people, certain hormones are released that relax the body.

Cave bear acts:

Today cave bear was invited to act together with another superhero, but unfortunately the hero was afraid of a large and dangerous bear. His power was fire, and well you can imagine how that would have went over seeing as I fight forest fires.

I created  bear-ninjitsu style training for the people of modesto.  This training is designed to keep the people healthy and disease free by a steady regimen of martial arts and meditation. They are invited to eat all they want because of the energy burning exercises. Whole schools and associations have dedicated their lives to ninja bear-jitsu, like the modesto police and the traffic ninjas who practice balance in traffic avoiding cars and big-rigs.

Cave bear imagines:

Cave bear has initiated a greater outreach to all ninja-clans to join with the modesto bear-jitsu clubs in order to clean up immune systems everywhere. This network will provide support and buddy-hood for all that join. The modesto gangs have been especially excited about the ninja network and have been great recruiters.  It seems that by creating a ninja-network that crime has also been reduced, and the police department has been able to lay-off some officers because they are just not needed. Crime problem solved!!! ……errrr…..another problem exacerbated.

But hey, when you get great pictures with the motorcycle police you just cant pass it up. I mean the fire department decided not to support the ninja-network because we save more people and put out more fires than they do, by the very act of performing our martial art kicks and punches en-masse. The air is stirred up to such a ferocity, that the fire dies and we flip and somersault in to save the day. The fire department is jealous, and hey I guess why not? Its not everyday that a real life cave bear saves humanity.